Wednesday, November 13, 2019
War poetry :: English Literature
War poetry I come from Wooburn common. Somebody had to. When we first moved here it seemed an alright place. There are plenty of fields for sport and stunning views. But these mild advantages are swamped by a thousand and one disadvantages. For example, I still, after four years of living here, am coming to terms with the fact that I'm the only sane person in this village. Even my family seem to be a little on the insane side after living here, but I can't say I blame them. The only entertainment there is: dodging the many vicious animals when you go on walks and trying not to get lost in the uncountable number of trees and wooded areas. It's enough to drive anyone mad! One of the inhabitants of Wooburn Common is "crazy dog man". He has somewhere in the region of 15 dogs which he talks to, not to mention himself, regularly. He is a tall, lanky man, with grey greased back hair and always wears, rain or shine, his dark green rain Mac and Wellington boots. One day, one of his beloved dogs decided to "leave a package" for us, on our lawn for my dad to find. We were unaware at first whose dog did the deed but we treated it as a one off. As we were about to find out this was not the case. Everyday a fresh one was laid; we even put a sign up saying "please do not allow your dog to foul on our verge, or we may have to return the favor". It was no good, the poo just kept coming (by now mostly on the sign itself!) until operation pooper scoop was initiated. A whole day I spent in my sister's car at the end of drive with a pair of binoculars waiting for the now named "phantom pooper" to arrive. Time dragged on, but as I was about to call it a day, "crazy dog man" decided to show his face, dogs and all. It was horrific! One or two of the dogs had diarrhea, but I consoled myself by knowing that I had caught the culprit. It wasn't long before I told my dad. He went, besides a bright scarlet colour, mad, but managed to coolly and calmly place one of the many excretory products in to an envelope and posted through the recipients letter box! A punishment well deserved; but events like this one happen regularly in wooburn common and although reasonably funny, the routine of them happening again and again every week is definitely not. If you live in Wooburn common you have to accept that the main bulk of
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